Many years ago, when I first entertained a dream of publishing a book, I learned in my writers’ groups about the importance of presence on social media. Increasing numbers of ‘followers’ led to confidence from publishers about the marketability of the books that those followers might one day purchase - it was a simple enough equation. And though many friends from those groups devoted a ton of time and resources to building those numbers, I never had the stomach for it. The whole thing seemed performative, inauthentic, and I decided that if the Lord wanted me to publish a book, He’d figure out a way forward. And in some ways, He did. Over the years, I have contributed essays to three books and several periodicals. I have relationships with writers, editors and publishers. I’ve been interviewed on a few podcasts. My work was making its way into some good places, and I was glad for it.
Throughout this time, I left my Instagram profile public to allow those who wanted to find me to do so, I created a website with all of my archived writing, made 200 episodes of a podcast over four years, and started this very Substack where I write weekly, often linking pieces through Instagram and other places.
When I heard this week about the government’s plan to scour the social media profiles of its citizens, it made a vaguely amorphous sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach into something much more concrete.
When Facebook was in its infancy, I resisted joining because I somehow knew it was going to steal my time and peace. Still, I eventually did join and fell into the pattern that so many young moms did then – using Facebook as a scrapbook of sorts, featuring our kids’ photos and accomplishments, and submitting life events for approval to the collective. It was an easy mistake to make then, to lean into the likes and comments of others as a source of our own self-worth. Certainly, the addictive nature of our devices and the serotonin boost we got from every positive interaction made it hard to change the way I used social media, but as my kids became older teenagers, I did make a change. I realized that my kids’ stories were their own, I stopped posting about them and really anything personal at all. It was the right call and freeing to say the least.
It’s time for another shift.
I’ve long understood that social media companies are not owed my thoughts, my check-ins, or my personal updates but now I understand that they cannot be trusted with them. As I made the decision to make my Instagram account private and to remove what ended up being about 500 followers, one by one, I did so based on whether I knew them personally or whether we’d interacted recently. It was a quick process, and painful too, because it’s my goal to put helpful words out into the world even for those who don’t know me, and also, it kind of felt like I was saying goodbye to any hope I might have at my book-writing dream.
If you have read anything I’ve written over the years, you’ll know that it’s my mission to help people of faith understand and own their faith for themselves. Sometimes that mission will involve a critique of what has become a grotesque distortion of Christianity in our culture and real harm to God’s people being done in His name, and critique of those things is not something I plan to stop. It’s my hope that those who want to follow my words will do so here, and if I’ve inadvertently removed someone who is intentional and of good motive to see what I do post on social media, I hope you’ll reach out or leave a comment here. Connection with people of good will is a high value for me, as it should be for all of us.
It’s a heartbreak to me that we are being trained daily, by leaders and algorithms, to see each other as enemies. I don’t believe that’s how we should be relating to one another, and I pray there will be a day when that veil is lifted, and we finally remember that we belong to each other. Finding connection, understanding who God is, and helping our sisters and brothers in the places we can will be a focus of whatever work I do, moving forward. Small and mighty, slow and steady, using my gifts in the way God is calling me, and if you’re with me on that, I’m glad you’re here.
Raised Catholic rewind:
Find 200 episodes of Raised Catholic on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks for continuing to recommend these episodes to friends who might find them helpful on their journey.
What I’m reading/listening to/recommending this week:
Song: See the Love, by The Brilliance
Instagram account: Ike Ndolo, Catholic musician
Podcast: The Russell Moore show with Andrew Peterson on The Authors Who Kept Us Christian
Podcast: Faith Adjacent
It's a healthy move to step back from social media. Thank you for sharing your thought process. I've been trying too, for all the reasons you mention. It's a challenge, but as my kids enter their teen years, I know I want to model a minimally online life for them.
I'm currently reading this wonderful book about art & faith (Rembrandt in the Wind). In it, the author highlights Van Gogh's words: "someone has a great fire in his soul and nobody ever comes to warm themselves at it, and passers-by see nothing but a little smoke." He so wanted others to know the incredible beauty he felt looking at the world. He tried to convey those feeling through his artwork, but only sold one painting during his lifetime. He never knew how people would eventually revere his work. We can only do good works and put our faith in God. Our reward will not be immediate. How hard that is to accept!
Agree with all of this. A few years ago, I read a great book by Cal Neport, Digital Minimalism. These social media platforms have been optimised more than any element of a casino to hijack your dopamine production. Most people don't stand a chance.
Now with the threat of government monitoring for correct ideology, it also tipped me over the edge.
I'd already drawn down my usage. But, last month, I deleted my X and Bluesky accounts. I'm keeping Facebook for now only because it shows me great memories. But, really, I see a real drop in content other than ads. Maybe partly because I unfriended people acting the fool across the spectrum. We'll see, I may just delete Facebook and be done with it all.
Better to make a phone call or grab a coffee for a real conversation.