Fire and ash

the cycle of the life of faith

In a Pentecost homily this week, we heard about the contrast in the elements of fire and ash. We begin Lent with ashes and end the Easter season with the fire of Pentecost, but there would be no ashes without the fire from last year’s burned Palm Sunday branches. Between the seasons of Lent and Easter, it can seem that these elements are somewhat out of order, until you realize that this life of faith we’re living is not linear, but cyclical.

In our lives, we experience the joy of the Spirit, answered prayer, worry and lament, we wander and get depleted and then return again with hopefully a bit more wisdom each time. We do this over and over and over in our lives, and in this process, we can learn that there is no such thing as out of order. On the contrary, we can trust that wherever we are, in the loving gaze of God, we are right on time as He works to make all things new in and through us.

So why do I feel my spirit rebelling against this demonstrable truth? Why do I long for the finality of justice, the ultimate healing, the very good fruit that comes from planting and pruning and surviving the hard seasons? Why is there a part of me that deeply longs to see the arrival in all things?

Simply put, it’s because of the promise(s): the ‘capital P’ promise of God’s victory over evil and a couple of long-held promises I hold in the silence of my heart. The dissonance I experience is because I have faith and I want to see. If I’m honest, part of my problem is that my hypervigilant brain is always on the lookout for patterns and is always seeking resolution, sometimes finding it but not always.

Pentecost calls us to remember the cycle, to remember that God’s Spirit is gifted to us anew whenever we ask, and even unbidden through locked doors. Pentecost asks us to notice the things that are afire right now, today, in a way that tells the story of the goodness of God. Pentecost reminds us that things can change and shift in an instant because of the God of impossible things.

I know need to find peace in the process, to trust in God’s view of it all, and not rush to the end, knowing that I (and all of us) are very much on the way as we live out our lives not in a straight line but a cycle. In God’s upside kingdom, beauty comes out of ashes, and fire and unending light are not the beginning but the end of the story.

The words from Isaiah chapter 61, some of which Jesus Himself proclaimed, are good words for all of us on the way. After all, if we know where we’re going to end up, maybe it will be easier to patiently get there and to trust God as we go.

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,
Because the Lord has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,

To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”

And they shall rebuild the old ruins,
They shall raise up the former desolations,
And they shall repair the ruined cities,
The desolations of many generations.
Strangers shall stand and feed your flocks,
And the sons of the foreigner
Shall be your plowmen and your vinedressers.
But you shall be named the priests of the Lord,
They shall call you the servants of our God.
You shall eat the riches of the Gentiles,
And in their glory you shall boast.
Instead of your shame you shall have double honor,
And instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion.
Therefore in their land they shall possess double;
Everlasting joy shall be theirs.

“For I, the Lord, love justice;
I hate robbery for burnt offering;
I will direct their work in truth,
And will make with them an everlasting covenant.

Their descendants shall be known among the Gentiles,
And their offspring among the people.
All who see them shall acknowledge them,
That they are the posterity whom the Lord has blessed.”

I will greatly rejoice in the Lord,
My soul shall be joyful in my God;
For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation,
He has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
For as the earth brings forth its bud,
As the garden causes the things that are sown in it to spring forth,
So the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations.

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